News is fun.

Everyone loves the news. Whether you're a child, adult, or senior, chances are you can't help but consume news media. It manifests itself in so many different ways, and is constantly present in our lives.

But sometimes, we get bored. There's simply not enough news in this world - even if there was enough news, chances are we won't find all of it suits our style. So what can you do about it?

While, we at MegaThonk News Network have created a new service called NewsNow℠. NewsNow℠ allows you to access the news you want, need, and most importantly the news that you have an overwhelming desire to shove down your eyeholes.

We also understand that it's hard to determine what platform you should consume your news media on. You've got a busy life, after all! That's why, in the true spirit of large corporations, we're slowly (or in this case, instantly) plucking away your options! You can only access our great service on the chat platform, Discord.

We also have heard that our customers are very basic, so we also only use basic vocabulary. In fact, it's anything that our neural network deems appropriate for your meagrely sized brains!

Invite the bot here.